Do You Set Realistic Goals

Any type of goal setting is often considered a fundamental part of any types of personal development
 or life coaching or 12-step recovery. The idea is simply to set objectives that you then try to achieve.
At some point you evaluate your efforts and results, and make any necessary adjustments that may
| be due.

The question of realistic goals is really important. The goal must be achievable in some way, and
 at the same time must not be too easy so that it does not require any effort to stretch on the part
of the person trying to achieve it.

When looking at goals that other people are setting, it is quite easy to be reasonably objective
about what you think they can and cannot achieve. This is especially true if you know the person
well, or you know their situation or environment.

Where it becomes more difficult, is where the individual has real levels of self-doubt about
their own capabilities, and find the very notion of goal setting difficult to imagine.

It is not, usually, that the person does not want to achieve things. It is more that they struggle
with the notion of how much control they have over their own life. On the whole, people tend
to set goals that are not achievable, either because they aim too high, or they sometimes
give up too easily.

Setting realistic goals is a very hard thing to do. Failure to meet goals can re-inforce a lot of
negative thinking about someone's ability to have control of their life. This can make any type
of meeting future goals even more difficult.

One of the ways through this, is to stop setting goals that are very specific. This tends to go against
 the standard advice about goal setting. People normally say set very clear and specific goals, that
can easily be measured. Whilst this is sound advice in one sense it does make the whole issue
much more black and white than it needs to be.

What sometimes works much better, is for people to set goals that are really about a process,
rather than a specific milestone or event. The nature of process is much easier to grasp, is
actually very easy to evaluate and does not tend to be so judgemental.

When talking about being judgemental, it is important to realise that it is normally the person
 themselves who are quite judgemental about their abilities of performance. This sense of 
judgement is likely to be about their sense of self or their identity.

The nature of process allows people to move forward from a position of where they are,
at their own pace. In some ways this is a good thing, as it does not force people beyond the
 capabilities. At the same time, one of the benefits of goal setting is to stretch people to do
more than they thought they were able to.

Goal setting that revolves around a process can do this by instilling a sense of self
belief in the person, that can overcome a sense of negativity or judgement that may be there
 in the first place. Using a process based goal setting agenda involves a different
mindset to normal goal setting.

It is however, just as achievable, and in many ways can be of much more benefit to people
 who struggle with their sense of self, or low levels of self-worth or self-esteem.

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