Reclaiming Your Personal Power

 As the year draws to a close, I find it helpful to review and assess if there are any psychic cords that would be best to cut before going into the new year. In this way the new year can be greeted with renewed energy. A psychic cord is an invisible energetic cable that connects one person to another person, living or dead that has a toxic feel to it. We are not victims of psychic cords, they happen when we don't protect and clear our energetic field regularly. Just as cavities occur in teeth if one does not brush and floss on a regular basis.

Psychic cords happen when we consciously or unconsciously give our sacred personal power, away to another person, and permit them to invade our psyche. We can both give and receive psychic cords. It is important to note, that cutting psychic cords does not mean cutting off the love. The love connection can remain but any fear, anger, negativity or judgement with another person, is most beneficial to sever and release regardless if you are the one holding them captive or they are psychically attaching to you.

Sometimes the cording can be very subtle and feel so familiar that the foreign energy is hard to recognize. One can easily become acclimated to feeling low energy or depleted from someone else's energy in their psychic field (which acts as a parasite or leech)if the cord is from an individual that is somewhat enmeshed in your field like close friends, family or co-workers. Also the cording is hard to discern if the person who is psychically merged with you carries or vibrates at the same frequency level of one of your parents from your family of origin.

Not all psychic cords have a malevolent intent. Most do not. Some psychic cords have been put there with the intention of helping another. For example, a parent who is very controlling and worries a lot, may psychically cord to their child, teenager or adult child because they are fearful of losing them or worried about their safety. Another instance of unintentionally cording is apparent when an ex-lover attaches a psychic cord to their past partner because they care about them and can't let go. However, though well intended, the recipient of the cord ends up feeling compromised in the clarity of listening to their own inner guidance because someone else's energy is in their field.

Luckily there is a quick and easy solution to this psychic phenomenon. First and foremost a person must desire to be free of unhealthy cording. A qualified psychic can assist with cutting and removing the cords or an individual can do it themselves. Here is a simple technique: Begin by being willing to quiet the mind and scan your energy field to see if you have either taken on someone else's fears, thoughts or energies or sent a cord to another person.The next step is to tune in to the location of the cord in the body by identifying where the feeling of constriction is. After this is done, it is helpful to visualize how large the cord feels and what its density is. For instance, does it feel like a huge thick metal cable or a light fabric leash type of cord? Once these specifics are established, envision a huge pair of etheric shears that are designed to cut through anything.

In your mind's eye sever the cord completely and simultaneously send the foreign energy back to its source. Then reclaim your own energy that you gave away and picture a pure white light entering the place where the cord resided in your body. Next see this light dissolving any residual energy from the other person. Complete this psychic cord cutting exercise by surrounding yourself in a bubble of protective white light, a type of psychic armoring that let's love through but does not permit negative energy to pass into your energy field.

Enjoy the feeling of your own pure and protected energy field.You are now ready to open up to your clear inner guidance and move forward in life on your soul's path with renewed energy.

Liah Howard is a Psychic/Channel and Medium and a teacher of psychic development and an author. She also writes for four inspirational magazines. Liah teaches classes in Psychic Development both in person and on-line. She has a free 20 class multi-media video series that teaches psychic development on-line via You Tube. Visit Liah's website for free guided meditations, articles, radio shows, videos, and to schedule a phone session.. http://www.liahhoward.com/

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The Secret of Waking Up Early

 

The Hidden Poison Undermining Professional Women

 So, we are twenty-first century women, living in a free country with nominally equal opportunities. We now aspire to, and can have and do things that our grandmothers could only dream of. But how free do you really feel?

The truth is that many of us aren't really feeling the liberation to shine and achieve that is rightfully ours. More often than not, we feel undermined, under pressure and overwhelmed.

On one hand, we feel driven to succeed out in the world, to prove our worth and our abilities, and to succeed. Yet we feel under pressure to be perfect, to support and care for our families, juggling all those endless demands. Then on top of that, the unconscious bias, still so prevalent in society, undermines us again and again. It's utterly exhausting.

What is at the root of all this? Is there more to this than meets the eye?

The truth is that all women are receiving mixed, incompatible messages. Not on the surface, maybe, but from the hidden layers of our minds underneath the conscious world. Think about it like a computer operating system. Our subconscious minds are still being run by the operating system of the past - an operating system that knows nothing of twenty-first century freedom and equality. Similarly for society and the group consciousness, the old operating system continues to run. Within these hidden energetic levels, all the obsolete rules and restrictions on women still exist. All those archaic beliefs about a woman being limited to the domestic world, not being allowed to outshine a man and needing to be demure, obedient and quiet, are still running.

Yes, I'm serious, these old patterns still sit there within everybody's minds and they undermine us subtly like a hidden poison. I've spent the last twenty years identifying these patterns and restrictions. Even for women such as myself, brought up with opportunity and equality, those old patterns are indeed there.

Here's the problem. We are pushing forwards with our motivation, goals, aspirations and hunger for success, and in doing so are forcing ourselves to move in the opposite direction to where our subconscious minds think we should go. We are rebelling against this old programming every day of our lives.

Each time we strive to push forwards, this triggers the old operating system to drag us back. We aren't aware of it, we just feel the struggle. Our subconscious minds are simply not on the same page as us; our subconscious minds do not want us to succeed and shine.

Similarly, each time we expand our visibility, leadership and impact in the world, those around us - who also have the old operating system of course - get the message from their subconscious minds that we are doing something forbidden, that we are the wrong shape (=gender) for the job, promotion or level of status, and so we get overlooked, attacked, ignored or put down. This may manifest in subtle ways that undermine over time, or in the more blatant issues that every professional woman is aware of.

The result - ever-increasing inner conflict. This undermines wellbeing, happiness, success, confidence and self-esteem. This is the root of our imposter syndrome, the confidence gap and the unconscious bias.

So what can we do to overcome this?

The first step is to understand this hidden push-pull phenomenon. The root of your stress is that we are being pulled in opposite directions without you realising it. You have in fact been dealing with far more than you ever imagined because you've been dealing with this inner conflict every single day. It is no wonder that we feel exhausted and stressed.

Once you understand the true cause of your inner conflict, you are back in the driving seat. Simply understanding that the legacy of the past is pulling you back reduces its hold over you. As soon as you realise you have been manipulated by this hidden level you can start undoing the damage and pulling back your power.

Your essential takeaway for now - you have been dealing with so much more than you realised. This means you are stronger, more resilient, more determined and more gifted than you ever thought possible.

Professional women at this time are the pioneers. We have the real-world opportunities that our predecessors have won for us, but there is still much to do. Women won't have a truly level playing field until we have freed ourselves from the hidden subconscious sabotage of the past.

Is this an impossible dream? Do we need to wait another hundred years for things to update naturally? No we don't. With the understanding of what we are really dealing with, and the right tools, we can change things now.

Dr Anne Whitehouse is an author, a PhD scientist turned life alchemist and confidence expert. Above all, she is a passionate empowerer of women, dedicated to helping them achieve their full potential by releasing the conditioning and traumas that block their success and damage wellbeing.

After 20 years of research, applying her scientific approach to the subconscious world, and working with many professional women, Anne developed a six-key, ground-breaking code to unlock profound confidence by breaking free of old limitations set by the patriarchal systems encoded into our psyche. This life-changing process is described in her impactful new book "Pull Back Your Power", which offers techniques to release women from the hidden subconscious restraints that continue to sabotage their wellbeing and block success, despite the freedoms of the 21st century. https://feminineconfidence.com/pull-back-your-power

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IT'S TIME TO GET OVER IT! Les Brown Motivation

 

You Are A Gift

 Each of us is individual, special and different for a reason: You are a gift to the planet.

Anthropology tells us we are different because we survive better that way-the recombining of genes in sexual reproduction makes us a stronger species than cloning would.

However, that doesn't account for the beauty of our differences. Each of us is a special package, a gift to the planet. If you're looking for a reason for your life, look into your gifts. The whole point is to discover what you have to give, and to give it as effectively as possible.

I believe I came into this planet to heal: First, to heal myself and learn to value who I am, then to help heal the planet, one person at a time.

Healing is an art; not just a science or a technology. It's not enough to throw the latest scientific discovery or medical advance at the problem -you have to get into all the messy, bleeding, hurting parts, sort out the problem, and clear the blocks so the healing can begin.

All my experience, personal and professional, verifies that this is the only way it can be done. There are many different paths that can be used to get into the healing mode, and they all lead to the same place-love. Healing only takes place in an atmosphere of love. My clients heal as they learn to love themselves, and demonstrating love to those around you will create a healing atmosphere. But what is love?

Love is a confusing word. We use it to mean obligation: "If you love me you'll... " We use it for dependency: "I love you, I can't live without you." We use it for ownership: "Weíre in love, we belong to each other." We use it for charity: "I do this for you because I love you."

I want to see love freed. I think the world exists on love, and that it is love which binds us together.

Science has not yet understood the mysterious force which holds the tiny particles of the atom together, and thus holds everything in our physical world together. Pretend with me that the binding force is love: If that were true, then weíd each be an expression of love and surrounded by love. The phrase"God is love" would take on new dimensions.

We would be free and able to let our partners be free, because we would not have to do anything to be bonded. And we would not have to prove to ourselves that we love-it would be obvious to all around us. We could let our partners be different without being scared-just as protons and neutrons are different and express themselves differently, yet remain bonded.

So, I talk frequently about love, and as much as possible, walk my talk. I want my life to be about freeing love. I believe love grows out of freedom, that free beings are open to loving and being loved. It is not possible to push or force people into loving. The only thing that works is leaving enough room for love to grow.

The more free people there are, the more love will be freed in the world. I invite you to join me in creating as much non-demanding, non-possessive love as we can in the world.

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You've Got To Stop Living In The Place Of Fear And Doubt

 Be Careful What You Give Your Attention To

Fear and doubt are like uninvited guests, who show up for the night and overstay their welcome. They have nothing to impart other than a distorted reality. We fear what we don't understand and then doubt ourselves. This steals away the preciousness of the present moment because we succumb to a fictitious reality. Have you experienced something like this, whereby fear and doubt convinced you of something that wasn't true? You wouldn't be wrong in succumbing to this scenario because they collaborate to pull us into a pit of despair.

But it needn't be this way, since we can choose to see things differently. For example, when the Coronavirus pandemic started, there was a lot of fear and negativity perpetuated by the mainstream media. They hijack our attention by reporting bits and pieces of the actual story. I immediately turned my attention to the health professionals, such as infectious disease experts, epidemiologists, virologists and senior health experts. As time went on, I was reassured that what the media was depicting was not reality but a false narrative to sell a story. I'm not suggesting the virus is anything to ignore, but we must be careful what we give our attention to because it may not be serving our best interests.

Think about the areas of your life where fear and doubt have gained a foothold? Perhaps it is your relationships, finances, career, your dreams and highest ambitions? If I asked you to journal the narrative fear and doubt promote, what would you write? Is it lack of choice? Self worthiness or self-esteem? It's important we understand what we're up against, so we can deal with it effectively. To overcome fear and doubt, we must first understand how they operate in our life. They try to undermine us, like a virus weaving its way through our thoughts. Either way, we must confront our limiting beliefs and analyse them for what they are; an unrealistic plan to sabotage us.

We've Got To Show Up Fully For Our Dreams

Fear and doubt offer nothing in return, other than to steal our joy and happiness. In contrast, confidence and encouragement are allies that work together to support our goals. We ought to sow the seeds of these virtues in our psyche and extract fear and doubt from our minds. Fear is the enemy of confidence because it tries to convince us of an unfavourable future. However, confidence moves towards tomorrow armed with conviction to achieve excellence. This doesn't mean we must eradicate fear from our lives but acknowledge it for what it is. As the self-help author Susan Jeffers once wrote: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.

That is, we walk towards our fears and take inspired action, regardless. Because every time we overcome fear, we silence our doubts and lay to rest the hijackers of tomorrow. Fear and doubt will try to steal our best laid plans. But it is not enough to ignore them, we must face them directly and change the narrative they promote. Consider this in your own life. What have you overcome in recent times that fear and doubt tried to sell you? Perhaps it was entering a new relationship, starting your own business, or leaving a lucrative career? Sometimes fear and doubt can show up as an unwanted gift, presented by those we love. Family and friends will convince us not to change careers or get intimately involved with that person because they are no good for us.

But this is like asking those who've never been where you're going for directions. You assume because they are wiser, they hold the answers, but they may not be the answers for you. So, question everything and test it for yourself, to see whether it will work for you. It is better to make a hundred mistakes on your own, than live inauthentically based on other people's opinions. We've got to show up for our dreams and command them fully, irrespective of what others think. It requires moving through our fears and doubts, which accompanying us on this journey of life. Because when we reach our ultimate destination, we will have overcome these mountainous hurdles through hard work and perseverance.

Knowing this, I invite you to make time to examine areas of your life where fear and doubt have infiltrated. What is the message they're trying to sell you? Is it real? Can you be sure that fear and doubt is real? What do you want for your life? Write down two columns and examine your fears and doubts on one side and your vision and purpose on the other. After you've explored each area, sit with your feelings and note which area you are leaning towards? Do you want to be an 80-year-old who was allowed their fears and doubts to overcome them, or do you want to be an 80-year-old who has lived the best version of their life? Either way, you get to decide the storyline for your life, so make it a remarkable one!

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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How to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thinking

 "No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." - Helen Keller

Depending on where you are living, you could be waking up to spring daffodils and birdsong or, you may be shoveling out from the latest snowfall. Sometimes it feels as though nothing is happening and that today is just a repeat of yesterday. But, whatever your circumstances, remember, this too shall pass. Change is just around the corner.

How can you make the most out of what is or isn't happening in your life at this time? You may not be able to change your circumstances but how could you change your attitude toward your circumstances? What if you were to flip whatever you're telling yourself about your circumstances and re-frame it so that it empowers you? For instance, try removing the words, should, could, can't or never from your self-talk. Replace these with words that build you up rather than tear you down.

We are all engaged in too much negative self-talk. Just look around and you will see it reflected back in the world. The more we focus and talk about everything that is wrong in the world, the more we collectively seed the thought pool of lack and limitation. It's this all or nothing thinking that keeps us stuck in this endless pattern.

Wouldn't it be more fun to feast on thoughts and words that accentuate the positive in our lives? We can all do this by paying attention to what we think and say. As thoughts come up in your mind, notice how you feel. You can tell by the way you feel if your thoughts are uplifting or taking you in a downward spiral of negativity.

Watch what you say. Your words contain powerful energy. Whatever you say out loud acts like a boomerang and comes straight back to you. The point is, you have the power to choose in each moment which path you want to travel through life on. You don't have to go it alone. Find others who are stepping off the beaten path to support you. You could start a book group or join a group with others who may be interested personal growth. You can start right now to plant new seeds of positive thoughts then water them daily with positive affirmations.

You can change your life. One thought at a time.

Nancy Bishop is a Life Change Coach providing a menu of coaching programs serving women at midlife who want to blend their passions with purpose. Visit her website http://www.yourlifeyourway.com for more information and to subscribe to her monthly newsletter.

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Why Someone's Opinion Of You Doesn't Determine Who You Are

 Everyone Is Painting Their Own Masterpiece

What other people think of you needn't determine who you are because your sense of self shouldn't be affected by their opinion of you. From an impressionable age, we regard the opinions of others because we want to be accepted and fit in. But as we mature and develop self-esteem, it shouldn't matter what others think of us. Let me be clear by saying it is important for our peers to accept us, but we mustn't place our self-esteem in their hands. Acceptance of oneself helps to connect with our core-self and gives us feedback on who we are as individuals. But it needn't dictate our self-worth because who we are is far greater than the opinions of others.

What are your impressions? Do you agree, what others think of you doesn't determine your reality, unless you allow it? Regrettably, many people are influenced by the opinions of those closest to them, such as family, friends and work colleagues. Most notably, family has the greatest influence in our lives and may undermine our self-worth. I know people from diverse cultures where the parents play a significant role in deciding the career path of their children. Whilst their intentions are honourable, it is shameful to the family name if the child doesn't pursue a noble profession such as a doctor, a lawyer. Is this something you can relate to in your family or culture? If so, how did you deal with it and did it impact your self-worth?

Nowadays, everyone has an opinion on how others should live their life, but rarely do these people examine their own lives. In my work as a speaker and coach, I'm yet to come across someone who has all their affairs in order. I mean that in the best way, insofar as our life is a work in progress and we may never reach our full potential. It is why we mustn't judge others because everyone is painting their own masterpiece as best they can. During my early adulthood, I would worry about the opinions of others, which impacted my self-worth and self-confidence. Who they thought I should be was not something I could live up to, and it hurt me trying to be that person.

Eventually, these relationships dissolved because I wasn't willing to minimise my self-worth to appease them. I lived according to my core values, even if it meant making my own mistakes. It was important I find my way, instead of living up to someone's opinion of me. Regrettably, not many people know how you should live your life. They may claim to know what's best for you, but mostly it's an impression of what is good for you. We must walk our own path since that is how we learn and grow as individuals. And yes, it is difficult to see a loved one make unnecessary mistakes, but they might be necessary for their personal evolution.

We Discover Our True Potential In Our Darkest Moments

Our task is not to remove their difficulties but to empower them with support and encouragement to get through it. This can be hard, especially if the individual is addicted to alcohol or experimenting with drugs and we may not want to see them suffer this way. I'm not claiming to have the answers, but I know emotional support is the best way we help people work through their difficulties. How are you feeling about this so far? I'm sure you have lots of questions and opinions on what you've read so far. I encourage you to journal your thoughts and sit with them for a few days, to see what surfaces.

We mustn't allow other people's opinions of us to determine who we are because their opinion is not fact. Naturally, our life path will evolve as we mature, and we will experience many highs and lows where it might seem our life is spinning out of control. But this is part of the journey to discover our authentic self, buried amongst the ruins of failure, dead-ends and despair. It is part of becoming lost and experiencing desperation throughout of our circumstances. I know, because I've been there and know how uncomfortable it is to be an outsider in your own life. However, in the months that followed, I experienced an expansion of consciousness that led to breakthroughs in my life. I experienced new insights about my life during those moments of despair. Sometimes, pain and suffering will force us to evolve, so life can take us where it needs to.

We mustn't resist these moments but lean in to our problems with full conviction. We alone determine our sense of self. It may require going in one direction and hitting bottom ground, so we discover our true potential in those darkest moments. So, whether you are experiencing difficulties and challenges or guiding loved ones through their problems, note where they are leading you. Don't get caught up in the suffering because it is temporary and will eventually recede, as long as you continue in genuine faith. If we believe the opinions of others determine who we are, we are less likely to live an authentic life. Ultimately, the greatest tragedy is to follow in the footsteps of someone whose opinion of us matters little.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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One of the Greatest Speeches Ever | Jeff Bezos

 

When Things Go Wrong In Life, Don't Follow Your Problems

 Don't Go With The Problem

Many people are experiencing difficulties in their lives than ever before, given the Coronavirus pandemic and economic uncertainty surrounding it. Problems are inevitable and hoping they go away is only wishful thinking. Challenges are sewn into the fabric of life and there are two ways to view them. We can see them as serving no point in our life, or conversely, that they contain the seeds of opportunities for our personal growth. How about you? What do you believe is the reason for problems in your life? What is your mindset when things go wrong? Do you stay stuck in your difficulties or do you try to find a solution?

I admit, when problems arise in my life, my initial reaction was one of anxiety and worry. I felt I had little control over the situation and found it difficult to deal with. However, I've come to distance myself from the drama nowadays, instead of overreacting. By distancing ourselves from a situation, we create a space between the problem, so we don't ruminate on it. We must also allow the passage of time to reveal more information about what we're experiencing. When I encounter a major problem, it seems that weeks and months later, it has evolved to something completely differently. I had this conversation with a coaching client recently, who experienced the same negative emotions. I invited her to mentally distance herself from the drama, otherwise she was likely to stay stuck in her negative emotions without finding a solution.

Are you happy with the idea that we needn't bring negative emotions to the table each time life doesn't go according to plan? Sometimes, what appears as a problem can be a stroke of luck, if we withhold our beliefs about it. Our problems are similar to horses tethered to a chariot. Given the opportunity, they will run wild and we're unable to keep them from taking off. Things will always go wrong in life and our task is to overcome it as best we can. The key message here is that when things go wrong, don't go with your problems; focus on the solution. We must become solution orientated instead of allowing problems to pull us into a pit of despair.

Problems Are Nourishment For Your Soul

When difficulties emerge, we are inclined to believe life is unfair. I've met many resilient leaders over the years who don't allow their problems to overwhelm them but seek to understand the lessons contained within them. These people have experienced many challenges throughout their life without getting caught up in the drama. You've heard it said that problems are opportunities for growth, but that means minor comfort when we face challenges bigger than us.

For example, think of a recent challenge you overcame? What lessons did you learn from it? What actions did you take to deal with the problem? If we believe difficulties are bigger than us, we remain helpless and stuck, instead of trying to overcome it. I assure you; the most trying experiences contain a solution and sometimes it requires digging deep within ourselves to find it. We may encounter frustration, anger and disappointment, but don't despair when you experience these emotions. It's means you are toiling away in the trenches to find a way out.

What I'm suggesting is; the more problems you face, the better you become at dealing with them. The bigger the problem, the greater your level of growth. Our personal growth is associated with our self-esteem and character, which are indicative of living intentionally and purposefully. We cannot avoid problems because there is always one waiting on the next corner. The problems that frustrate me most are ones that emerge when I least expect it. But I've learned that the universe will test my resolve to see whether I am growing to deal with the challenges.

So, going back to the problem you experienced recently, what is the lesson you're invited to learn from it? What qualities is the universe trying to develop within you? When we resist an experience, we resist the growth associated with it. It is like receiving a present on your birthday, but refusing to open it. You've no doubt experienced enough birthdays to know that a present is a gift to cherish. And so of our problems. The universe rarely gives us an experience packaged beautifully, with a bow on it. They are clothed in pain, disappointment and difficulties. So, when things go wrong, don't follow your problems and create greater worries for yourself. Instead, see the lessons as a gift and your problems will become nourishment for your soul.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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"It Will Make You Rich" | What Poor People Don't Know About Making Money

 

Your Authentic Self: Love Who You Are Right Now

 Many of us live our lives on autopilot. We exist day to day programmed like an automaton and never consider the choices we have. We let our old habits dominate what we do and what we think. We have walked down the same familiar, well-worn path for so long that we assume this is what life is all about. We unwittingly accept it and do not believe it can be any better or different. We can become so entrenched in our old habits that we do not even realize that we are not living but are only surviving.

If you think about it, many of us have spent the better part of our lives operating based on a series of false beliefs. These beliefs can make us feel as if we are somehow inadequate. We learned to say and do things to keep the peace and make others happy. But, who is working on making us happy? This task, my friends, is ours and ours alone. Researchers suggest that our ability to be congruent with ourselves and others is linked to our happiness.

When we are congruent with ourselves, our inner world matches our outer world. We are our "authentic self." Being our authentic self is about reconnecting with who we are. It is about being true to ourselves. It is about having our thoughts (inner world), words, and actions (outer world) match. It is about honoring our feelings and having the confidence to express them. It is about going deep inside and letting go of the false beliefs, which are not serving us any longer.

Individuals who are controlled by their negative programmed false beliefs frequently want to please others over themselves. They also have a hard time being authentic. It can be terrifying to do or say things that go against the norm, the tried and true. Our ability to be authentic is often challenged in our relationships, where we find ourselves discarding our own wants and needs to make room for what we think others desire. We fear the repercussions of our words and actions. "Will he or she still accept me if I speak my truth?" "What will happen if I say no?"

Being authentic allows us to love and accept ourselves at our core, to do what makes us happy, and to follow our passions regardless of who we may disappoint. Doing so may leave us vulnerable, but at the same time, allows for the creation of genuine, intimate relationships filled with unconditional love.

What does loving ourselves feel like? It is about treating ourselves with kindness, concern, and compassion. It is about not judging ourselves harshly or punishing ourselves for every mistake we make. It is about being warm and understanding, recognizing our inadequacies and imperfections, and responding to them with the same level of support and respect we freely offer others. It is about liking who we are, lock, stock, and barrel.

Self-love compels us to act with our best interest in mind and challenges us to ask, "Why not?" As they say, whatever does not kill you will make you stronger. Imagine the inner strength you will develop as you flex this muscle.

We naturally love ourselves when we have appropriate self-worth and self-esteem. These things allow us to be internally whole and let us interact with the world as our authentic selves. There is one other thing that is required to love ourselves. It necessitates we move beyond our fears. It demands us to have the courage to feel our feelings and honor them, regardless of where they may lead.

We have to be willing to risk showing our true self, complete with all of our imperfections, shortcoming, and insecurities when we are our authentic selves. We have to embrace who we are instead of who we think we should be. We also have to be prepared to love ourselves enough to accept the costs and consequences our words and actions may elicit from others. It might sting in the moment, but in hindsight many come to realize it was the best and smartest thing they ever did. Being authentic creates a foundation where we can begin to experience joy and happiness in all we do every day of our lives.

Excerpt from: The Dysfunctional Dance Of The Empath And Narcissist

© Copyright Rita Louise, Inc. - SoulHealer.com. All rights reserved.

Dr. Rita Louise is a gifted empath and talented clairvoyant medical intuitive. She is a Naturopathic physician and the founder of the Institute Of Applied Energetics that trains students in the art of medical intuition, intuitive counseling, and energy medicine. She has authored six books, including her new title The Dysfunctional Dance , and produced several feature-length and short films. Dr. Louise has appeared on radio, television and in movies and has lectured on health and healing, ghosts, intuition, ancient mysteries and the paranormal. Her books and articles have worldwide circulation. You can visit her webpage at https://soulhealer.com or https://medical-intuitives.com

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How To Get Through Depression or Personal Struggle and Start Healing Right Now

Self-Compassion - Same As Self-Love?

 People fail. From time to time they mess up on the challenges of family relationships, life style, work etc. And when they blunder, they suffer adverse consequences. No wonder then that we speak of being kind and sympathetic to those who fail - who are struggling financially, emotionally, or interpersonally. But when it comes to our own problems, do we feel we ought to show the same thoughtfulness, the same gentleness, the same tolerance? Don't we need self-care as well as care for others? The mindfulness movement advocates we practice self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is a practice in which we learn to be a good friend for ourselves when we need it most - to become an inner ally rather than an inner enemy." (Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer, mindfulness teachers)

Why is self-compassion needed?
"All of us wish we'd had perfect childhoods, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to internalize the tenets of self-love. Many of us, however, did not." (Marianne Williamson, American author, spiritual leader, politician, and activist.)

Self-compassion and self-criticism
One can be sympathetically honest with a good friend regarding their weaknesses or mistakes.

"Sure, the job of high school teachers is not to tear down students' self-esteem. But it's certainly not to inflate students' sense of self-worth with a bunch of unearned compliments and half-truths." (L.Z. Granderson, American journalist)

Likewise having self-compassion and accepting our own faults does not mean agreeing with them. Honest self-acceptance can lead to correcting our mistakes. Self-evaluation is the vital first step towards personal change.

We can be self-critical without indulging in harsh self-criticism. Unless we honestly look at ourselves, we are in danger of self-justification, amounting to self-deception.

Self-compassion and self-pity
One can have sympathy towards one's own plight without being absorbed in oneself and wallowing in self-pity.

"Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror." (Anne Roiphe, American feminist and author)

"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make." (Eckhart Tolle, spiritual author and teacher)

Self-indulgence
One can be kind to oneself without going on a self-indulgent binge or spending spree. Self-compassion is compatible with self-restraint.

I would suggest there has been a pressure on people to look perfect heightened by the celebrity culture. This has led to inadequate feelings particularly in many women exploited by advertising.

"L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card." (Geoff Mulgan, British social and political writer)

Self-interest
Loving oneself is good. For unless we love ourselves, how could we hope to love others? Likewise, without self-respect, how could we respect others?

There is a balance needed between love of self and love of others. A big difference lies between, on the one hand, having sufficient love and compassion for yourself and, on the other hand, narcistic self-love. The latter amounts to prioritising self-love which is never going to lead to feeling compassionate towards others in need. For when self-love rules, it results in self-serving, self-interest and selfishness.

"A modest dose of self-love is entirely healthy - who would want to live in a world where everyone hated themselves? But taken too far, it soon becomes poisonous." (Geoff Mulgan)

Lack of self-compassion blocks compassion for others.
Compassion for others may sound like a tall order. This is the case especially for those of us who lack self-compassion. But it is a higher calling.

Compassion is the key to living outside the confines of your lower self. (Debbie Ford, American self-help author and coach))

Can self-compassion as we have defined it, actually help us to find this deeper concern for others?

"Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly." (Rachel Simmons, American author)

How can we care for others if we cannot practice self-care? How can we be kind to others unless we are kind to ourselves? However, when we accept our own difficulty and unhappiness then we can better recognise that of others. Our pain is part of the shared human experience. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life. As Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer point out, we are all flawed works in progress. When we see this then it helps us to feel connected with others in the same boat as ourselves. It facilitates a compassionate attitude towards our common humanity.

Self-compassion and Christian heritage
I see this growing interest in self-compassion as a healthy reaction against an unfortunate strand in our Western Christian heritage. This has been in my view a somewhat punitive notion of God. It assumes f there is a possibility the God who is love and mercy itself might not want to forgive us for any wrongdoing.

According to the analysis of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, this mistaken attitude stems from treating the biblical picture of multiple deity as literally true when it's meaning is metaphorical. Not three Gods but three aspects of the one God. As a result of this error a common image of God the Father has been one of wanting humankind to suffer for falling by the wayside. This anger, it is supposed, could only be appeased through the self-sacrifice of God the Son.

I would say this mistaken notion of deity has resulted in the traditional idea of 'original sin'. If true such a doctrine would mean we are all born guilty sinners deserving harsh treatment.

Such a negative view has permeated our ways of thinking. Unsurprisingly, we are quick to criticise our own shortcomings, failings and wrong-doing as warranting ill-fortune, punishment or rejection. And some of us actually condemn ourselves as unworthy of self-respect and care of others. The Gospel, however, is clear about our proper attitude to ourselves.

"Love your neighbour as yourself" (Jesus Christ)

As a clinical psychologist, Stephen Russell-Lacy has specialised in cognitive-behavioural psychotherapy, working for many years with adults suffering distress and disturbance.

He edits Spiritual Questions a free eZine that explores links between spiritual philosophy and the comments and questions of spiritual seekers. You can share your views and find out more about making sense of life.

His eBook Heart, Head and Hands draws links between the psycho-spiritual teachings of the eighteenth century spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg and current ideas in therapy and psychology.

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Mel Robbins: The TRUTH about friendship

Tips for Better Self Care

 It can be difficult to make time for self-care in our busy schedules. We run from one commitment to another, filling every gap in our life with work, study, family and social events. The chaos of modern life makes it even more important that we take the time to care for our individual wellbeing, both physically and mentally.

If you are struggling with your own self-care, consider these five tips to improve your habits.

1. Add self-care to your normal routine
When planning your weekly schedule, make sure that you have time for self-care. Cementing its place in your routine means that you will be more likely to commit to self-care as you will have allocated time specifically reserved for it. The more often you practice self-care, the more it will become a habit and part of your regular life.

2. Do what suits you
Self-care looks for different for everyone. Some people enjoy getting outdoors, others like catching up with friends and some people prefer sitting at home losing themselves in a good book or movie. Identify what makes you feel better and commit to that. Donít feel pressured by what others consider self-care; long walks arenít for everyone.

3. Practice gratitude
Engaging in regular gratitude practice is a valuable habit and a worthwhile way to spend your allocated self-care time. Take some time each day or week to write down three things that you are grateful for. Try to think of unique things that have happened for that week, rather than repeating the same common things each time. It may be difficult at first, but the more you practice gratitude the easier it will become. Regular participation in gratitude exercises trains your brain to be more thankful and positive about the things you have in your life, rather than focusing on the things you donít have or things that arenít going so well.

4. Be brave and try something new
Trying something new is a great way to break the monotony of everyday life. Your mental health will benefit and you will learn new skills, both through the actual activity but also in regard to managing your nerves and being open to new opportunities. Itís a great way to take care of your mental, and depending on the activity, physical health.

It's time for you to make you a priority.

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Stop caring about what other people think | Mel Robbins

The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

Scott "Q" Marcus is a motivational weight loss expert who specializes on helping baby boomers live happier, healthier lives. He is a professional speaker, Syndicated Columnist, and the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a site for people who are tired of making promises to themselves but are willing to do what it takes to actually makes changes. He conducts on-line workshops on change each month at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com/intentions

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Cure your fear of disappointing people | Mel Robbins

Questioning Yourself To Successful Habit Changes

 Being a professional in the goal-setting field, I find it fascinating to witness some of the machinations we will go through to achieve our objectives.

There are countless apps designed to help one achieve goals, ranging from diet and exercise, to being more organized, to simply uplifting one's mood. For those less inclined to make change via an app, I've heard of some who journal, use to-do lists, or even pray and meditate on the desired outcomes. Of course, hiring a coach helps too. (Hint, hint... )

I am not judging any technique. If you're dedicated to your goals and willing to do the work, however you choose it, more power to you - especially in this ever-stressful world in which we find ourselves. That said, if you personally felt stuck and would like to make some changes; whether health-related, financial, or emotional, this four-question process is ridiculously easy to use and amazingly effective.

Question #1: Suppose I was successful; how would I know?

It seems silly to start here, but the reality is oft-times we fall short of our objectives because we've never defined the outcome clearly. We say "I want to feel better," or "I want to get more fit." Whereby those are lofty intentions, they're not concrete enough to drive us to an endpoint. Sure, they might get us started, but we'll often stall because we don't know when we've arrived and the journey feels daunting and without end.

It's more effective to state a goal such as "I will walk 30 minutes three times a week;" or "I will take time each day to write down five things for which I'm grateful.'

Being able to identify a clear change in behavior is essential to achieving goals.

Question #2: What has to happen for that objective to occur?

Obviously, if we were doing what we needed to do, we'd already be where we want to be. Since we're not yet "there," something must adjust. To that end, we have basically four options: start a new behavior; stop an existing behavior; do more of an already-existing behavior; or do less of an existing behavior.

Behavioral changes therefore might be, "put a 30-minute activity appointment in my calendar on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday;" or "reserve 10 minutes each morning to record those things for which I'm grateful."

The trick here is not to line out an entire series of changes, but to define one simple, effective adjustment you can make to move forward.

Question #3: Can I do that?

If you are not in complete control of what the behavioral change, success is left up to fate.

For example, if - in Question #2 - you stated, "Find a walking partner;" that leaves you stagnant until your find someone who shares your goal. Even if you do find a walking partner, what happens if she gets sick or decides she doesn't want to continue your joint-regimen? You're back to square one.

It doesn't mean you can't bring others along on your journey, but the path must be structured to move you forward irrespective of whether anyone else helps or hinders you.

By the way, if the answer to Question #3 is not "Yes," that means your goal in Question #1 is wrong for you. Make it smaller or rework it.

Question #4: Will I do that?

This requires brutal honesty with yourself. Sure, technically you can do that, but will you? Answers such as, "As soon as... " or "When the weather changes... " or "I'll try... " are merely fancier ways of saying, "No." There's no judgement in "No," but it highlights a truth; that truth being, "I'm not going to."

Either commit to doing it or go back to Question #1 and start again.

Repeat these four questions until you can get all the way to the end. Most times, you'll have to go through this process several times, each time whittling down your objective, until it all fits. Once that happens, the final bonus question kicks in:

Special Bonus Question: By when?

You've outlined your goal, determined what you have to do, realized it's indeed in your control, and committed to doing it. Next step is to set a deadline. By the way, "ASAP" is not a deadline as everything else will take higher priority.

Without deadlines, there's no urgency. Without urgency, there's very virtually no chance you'll move forward.

Scott "Q" Marcus refers to himself as "recovering perfectionist" because after losing 70 pounds in 1994, he realized it's better to do something well than nothing perfectly. He now conducts playful, lively speeches, workshops, and presentations throughout the country on how to achieve goals, improve attitude, and enhance communication. His presentations are described as a "cross between business 101, group therapy, and a southern revival." You can contact him for speaking, coaching or consulting, or you can sign up for his free ezine, "This Time I Mean It" at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com

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