Your Authentic Self: Love Who You Are Right Now

Many of us live our lives on autopilot.  We exist day to day programmed like an automaton and never consider the choices we have.  We let our old habits dominate what we do and what we think. We have walked down the same familiar, well-worn path for so long that we assume this is what life is all about.  We unwittingly accept it and do not believe it can be any better or different.  We can become so entrenched in our old habits that we do not even realize that we are not living but are only surviving.

If you think about it, many of us have spent the better part of our lives operating based on a series of false beliefs.  These beliefs can make us feel as if we are somehow inadequate.  We learned to say and do things to keep the peace and make others happy.  But, who is working on making us happy?  This task, my friends, is ours and ours alone.  Researchers suggest that our ability to be congruent with ourselves and others is linked to our happiness.

When we are congruent with ourselves, our inner world matches our outer world.  We are our "authentic self."  Being our authentic self is about reconnecting with who we are.  It is about being true to ourselves.  It is about having our thoughts (inner world), words, and actions (outer world) match.  It is about honoring our feelings and having the confidence to express them.  It is about going deep inside and letting go of the false beliefs, which are not serving us any longer.

Individuals who are controlled by their negative programmed false beliefs frequently want to please others over themselves.  They also have a hard time being authentic.  It can be terrifying to do or say things that go against the norm, the tried and true.  Our ability to be authentic is often challenged in our relationships, where we find ourselves discarding our own wants and needs to make room for what we think others desire.  We fear the repercussions of our words and actions.  "Will he or she still accept me if I speak my truth?”  “What will happen if I say no?" 

Being authentic allows us to love and accept ourselves at our core, to do what makes us happy, and to follow our passions regardless of who we may disappoint.  Doing so may leave us vulnerable, but at the same time, allows for the creation of genuine, intimate relationships filled with unconditional love.

What does loving ourselves feel like?  It is about treating ourselves with kindness, concern, and compassion.  It is about not judging ourselves harshly or punishing ourselves for every mistake we make.  It is about being warm and understanding, recognizing our inadequacies and imperfections, and responding to them with the same level of support and respect we freely offer others.  It is about liking who we are, lock, stock, and barrel.

Self-love compels us to act with our best interest in mind and challenges us to ask, "Why not?"  As they say, whatever does not kill you will make you stronger.  Imagine the inner strength you will develop as you flex this muscle. 

We naturally love ourselves when we have appropriate self-worth and self-esteem.  These things allow us to be internally whole and let us interact with the world as our authentic selves.  There is one other thing that is required to love ourselves.  It necessitates we move beyond our fears.  It demands us to have the courage to feel our feelings and honor them, regardless of where they may lead. 

We have to be willing to risk showing our true self, complete with all of our imperfections, shortcoming, and insecurities when we are our authentic selves.  We have to embrace who we are instead of who we think we should be.  We also have to be prepared to love ourselves enough to accept the costs and consequences our words and actions may elicit from others.  It might sting in the moment, but in hindsight many come to realize it was the best and smartest thing they ever did.  Being authentic creates a foundation where we can begin to experience joy and happiness in all we do every day of our lives.

 

Excerpt from:  The Dysfunctional Dance Of The Empath And Narcissist

THE MINDSET OF A WINNER | Kobe Bryant Champions Advice

How To Have Better Control Over Habits

When we seriously start thinking about doing MBA from one of India’s top B-schools, we realize that we do not possess the skill sets required for corporate life. For example, handling procrastination, thinking less emotionally, managing relationships etc.  Therefore we realise the need to change.

In the initial stages, we are enthusiastic about the change and go for it with “vim, vigour and vitality.” Over time, this enthusiasm fizzles out and we revert to our comfort zone, and then rationalize our inaction.

What is this comfort zone?

As we develop a habit, neuron paths are created in our brain, as the habit moves from the conscious into our subconscious.  This becomes a convenient path and familiar path, a path of least resistance. The more we use it, the smoother it becomes. The psychological reasons for using this path also become ingrained.

When we change the habit, we are trying to create a new path, through a jungle. we need to cut down trees (overcome resistance from self and others) we need to smooth the path (try the new method enough numbers of times) and become familiar with it.

This is tough, and in most cases we give up, as the other, familiar path is there.

Even if we create a new path, we now have choices. The new, untested one, and the old tested one. We take the old one.

How do we handle this?

1. Before making even the first path, decide if it is the right path. My friends in the IAS say that agreeing to the politicians the first time is tough, but it gets easier. The first time you pay the bribe, you feel bad, and then it becomes easier. A path is created.
2. Create the new path only after you understand the benefits, so that you are motivated to take the new path. Walk on it enough number of times.
3. Close the old path, so that even if you want to go on this path, you are unable to do so.

Take addiction as an example.

1. Decide not to smoke.
2. If you do start and it becomes a habit, then, since smoking is also an emotional desire, you need to find an alternate emotion, that is more powerful than the current emotion.
3. Make sure that your friends and family are supportive and stop you from smoking, reward yourself for not smoking for a certain number of days, etc. Work in a smoke free zone.

Sometimes, teachers are trying to create new habits in you. To create the new path, they force you to do things which you do not like because they force you to get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you ask the purpose of the change – which is a right approach – and sometimes you try to avoid doing what they recommend.

Either you know more than the teachers, or you need to trust them to do the right thing on your behalf.

The choice is yours.

Tony Robbins: Feeling Lost? How to Find Yourself Again

The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

Scott "Q" Marcus is a motivational weight loss expert who specializes on helping baby boomers live happier, healthier lives. He is a professional speaker, Syndicated Columnist, and the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a site for people who are tired of making promises to themselves but are willing to do what it takes to actually makes changes. He conducts on-line workshops on change each month at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com/intentions

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After This You'll Change How You Do Everything! - Tony Robbins

What Are Your Values and How Can Understanding Values Improve Your Overall Life?

Values can be defined as, "important and enduring beliefs or ideals shared by members of a culture about what is good or desirable and what is not. Values exert major influence on the behavior of an individual & serve as broad guidelines in all situations."

Values are the foundation that support where and how we navigate through life. When a person has high values, they will strive to be the best possible person and to accomplish much in life. Values are measured by society but individuals will establish their own values based on many factors in their lives. When values are established that honor time, energy, and money a person will strive to make the most of all of time, energy, and money. This person would not squander these resources.

What do you value in your life? Are you even aware of the power of values and how they influence your life and your success? When a person says they value family but spends twelve hours per day working and not spending quality time with family, there is a disconnect with the identified value. This happens a lot in our society. Most people do have a good value system, yet find themselves pulled in so many directions that they forget how important their foundational values factor into their success in life and business.

Take time to really think about your value system. What really matters to you? Then ask yourself, "are my values being honored and are they in balance?" If the answer is no, then it might be time to identify what is out of balance and begin to bring your values back into your life. If you are not spending enough time with family and this is an important value, what can you do to spend more time with family? Possibly watching less television and playing more games or going for walks or doing activities that involve the entire family. If having a healthy relationship with your spouse is important and part of your value system, what can you do to improve this area of your life? Possibly setting up a date night, leaving a heart-felt card, giving your spouse a massage, etc.

The real key to living a value-filled life is to recognize what your values are and what might be out of balance and then bring these values back into your life. Surround yourself with people with similar value systems. If there is someone in your life that does not honor time, money, and energy this person may not be a positive influence in your life. This person may be influential in pulling you off track with your values. It is easy to get pulled off track if you have forgotten what really matters to you.

It is also easy to forget what you stand for if you are not living your values. The good news is, your foundation is established so it will be simple to call forth your true value system and to bring it back into your life, your family, and your success.

Sonja Fullwood, author, life, health, and prosperity coach. Sonja brings a life-time of experience, knowledge, and accomplishments to her coaching business. Sonja is direct in her approach to coaching and holds people accountable for their actions and supports the greatness and potential in everyone. Visit my site at http://sonjafullwood.com.

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Understanding Your Values with Dr John Demartini

How to Be a Positive Person

ve been counseling using Positive Psychology for many years. Positive, happy people do have an easier time in life, and bounce back from problems faster. There are always things you can do to increase your level of optimism, even if you can't change who you are. Whether you realize it or not, you are responsible for lifting your own feelings and no one else is responsible for making you feel better.

To become more positive:

• Write down and visualize your goals: this programs your brain to help you find the positive steps you can take to meet your goals. It will alert your brain to notice things and events that are related to your goal. You will automatically be more aware of certain events, opportunities and people who can be helpful. You'll also be more clear about what you want, and this will sneak into your conversation and your general attitude, where others can pick up on it.

• Ask politely for what you want: The easiest way to get what you want is to make a pleasant request, and deliver it with a big smile and a warm look. Please is very important, and so is a gracious smile, eye contact, and a warm thank you when the request is met. If you make requests confidently, as if you expect to get a "yes," it ups the odds that you'll get one. "Please go to lunch with me" works better than "You wouldn't want to go to lunch, would you?"

• Dress as if you feel special, and act that way: The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you. Make sure you present yourself well, dress and act the part.

• Accept favors, gifts and compliments gracefully, with thanks. Don't worry about whether you deserve the compliment: if someone says something nice, and you respond that you don't deserve it, you're effectively calling that person a liar; which is not charming at all. Gratitude for kindness begets more kindness. Nothing works better than a pleasant "thank you so much" to make the kind person feel appreciated, and wanting to give you more. You can also accept credit and still share credit with others: "Thank you so much; it was really Susan's idea." Accepts the compliment and shares the love.

• Practice a new situation before you do it: I recommend the "roll the tape" exercise: picture yourself taking some small risk, and watch the scene play out. "Re- roll the tape" several times, and go through the scene again. Practice some different responses and different approaches until you feel comfortable with it. Then, you can try it in the real world.

To enhance your positive experience, do the following steps before any new activity:

1. Make a mental note of the possibilities: Can you learn something there? Can you meet a new friend? Could it be fun? Will just getting out of the house and around new people feel good?

2. Remind yourself of your goals: You're going there to make new friends and to have fun or to learn.

3. Review your positive personal qualities: What do your friends like about you? What do you like about you? Your intelligence, your sense of humor, your style, your conversation skills? Are you a kind and caring person? Reminding yourself of these qualities means you will enter the event radiating that positive energy.

• Change your thinking: Everyone has running dialog in their heads, which can be negative and self-defeating, or positive and energizing. Your thoughts affect your mood, and how you relate to yourself can either lift or dampen your spirits. Neuronal activity in the brain activates hormones which are synonymous with feelings. One thing you can do is to monitor your self-talk: what do you say to yourself about the upcoming day, about mistakes, about your luck? If these messages are negative, changing them can indeed lift your spirits and your optimism. The good news is that you can choose to replace your negative monologue with something more positive.

Self-talk is the most powerful tool you have for turning your negative feelings to positive and your negative interactions with your partner to love. Your brain tends to repeat familiar things over and over, wearing the established neuronal pathways deeper and deeper. Repeating a mantra, an affirmation or a choice over and over creates new pathways, which eventually become automatic. The new thoughts will run through your head like the old thoughts did, or like a popular song you've heard over and over.

• Make the best of who you are: if you love silence, tend to be quiet, like quiet conversations and not big parties, this may be a genetic trait: your hearing, and nervous system may be more sensitive than someone else's, and this trait will not go away. You can, however, make the most of it, and learn that creating plenty of quiet in your life will make you a happier person. Quiet moments with your partner will be especially meaningful to you, and make you happy.

If, on the other hand, you're a party animal-social, enjoying noise and excitement, you can also use that as an asset. You will bring the party to your relationships and music and activity will lift your spirits.

• Take charge of your negative thoughts: (that's one thing totally in your control) and turn them around; argue with them, fight them off, wrestle with them. Put energy into it. Let go of whatever you can't control, such as other people, life's events, loss, disappointment. Stop trying to change what won't change, accept what is, let it be and live life as it is. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, but once you get a handle on it, life itself is easier. Fretting about what you can't control is an endless, useless waste of energy you can use elsewhere.

Here are some things you can try that will help in making you more positive:

• Make a note: Write positive comments to yourself on your daily calendar for jobs well done or any achievements you want to celebrate. Your partner will also appreciate little love notes or thank you notes left around to surprise and delight.

• Look to your childhood: Use activities that felt like a celebration in your childhood: did your family toast a celebration with champagne or sparkling cider, a special dessert, a gathering of friends, or a thankful prayer? Create a celebration environment: use balloons, music, flowers, candles, or set your table with the best china. Work with your partner to incorporate both of your childhood celebration elements.

• Use visible reminders: Surround yourself with visible evidence of your successes. Plant a commemorative rosebush or get a new houseplant to mark a job well done, or display photos of fun events, and sports or hobby trophies. It's a constant reminder that you appreciate yourself and your partner that you'll both feel daily.

• Reward yourself and your friends: Go out for ice cream, high five each other, toast with champagne or ginger ale in fancy glasses, take a day off for just the two of you, and party every chance you get.

• Try laughter: Find a way to laugh with your partner and others around you every day. Share jokes, funny memories, comedic movies and Internet jokes. It will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.

Gratitude

Gratitude is something that always helps remind us that life is not all bad. Every day I see the positive effects of getting my clients to focus on gratitude. The things we feel good about are easily taken for granted, so making sure you spend some of your time noticing what you're grateful for gives you a chance to register the good things in your life, reduce your stress and anxiety, and feel better about yourself, your relationship, and your life. While stress and anxiety cause the body to release adrenalin and testosterone, focusing on gratitude floods you with oxytocin, acetylcholine and other calming, relaxing agents. Hormones are emotions, emotions are hormones, so when you're flooded with happy hormones you'll feel good, and so will those around you.

• Daily thanks: Take some time each day to be thankful for each and every thing that comes your way. Do this silently, for yourself, not ostentatiously, to impress others. If you say a grace before meals, say it silently, and think about how fortunate you are. Hold hands with your partner or family and give thanks for your love.

• Keep a gratitude list: For one week, list every good thing that comes your way-a funny e-mail, a phone call, a business success, a loving gesture, or a sweet moment with your partner. At the end of the week, you'll be astounded at how much you receive.

• Thank your loved ones: Thanking your partner allows both of you to feel valued. Gratitude is powerful, and, used properly, a much greater motivator than demanding, criticizing, or nagging. Creative gratitude is the most powerful kind. It's easy to scope out what kind of thank you will be memorable for a particular person, when you're paying attention. Recognition is a powerful motivating factor, and a little gratitude can go a long way.

• Counter negative thoughts: Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, counter it by giving thanks for something that is good in your life. Change your focus from what's wrong to what is right.

• Count your blessings: Count everything you already have that you cherish. Consider beginning a gratitude journal, and noting all the positive things, beloved possessions, and tender moments you experience. Or, start a gratitude jar, and note down on scraps of paper all the positive things, beloved friends, favorite possessions, and tender moments you experience in your life and relationship, and store them in the jar. Then whenever you feel frustrated, down or discouraged, pull out a few papers and read them. You'll find that reminding yourself of all you have to be grateful for will cheer you up and help you remember that your life is a good one.

• Get to know yourself: Just checking in with yourself on a daily basis, knowing how you feel and what you think about whatever is going on in your life will make you happier, and reduce your stress. Being kind to yourself and having a good relationship with you will make all your relationships with other people go more smoothly. Whether you realize it or not, the relationship you have with yourself sets the pattern for how you connect with your partner. By developing a nurturing way to relate to yourself, you create a personal experience of both giving and receiving love.

• Know how to soothe yourself: Familiarity with your feelings helps you make appropriate choices in every phase of your life. When you know how you feel, you also know how to comfort yourself when you're stressed or tired. What makes you most comfortable? What soothes you? What helps you recharge? It can be anything from a bubble bath, a session of shooting baskets, a yoga session, or your favorite music to a long walk in the country, a good workout, a phone conversation with your best friend, or a nap. Make a list of your favorite "personal rechargers" and include simple things you can do cheaply (such as relax with a cup of tea and read a favorite book) and also things that are very special (such as a vacation or a massage or a facial). Keep the list where you can refer to it whenever you feel in need of a recharge, and make use of it often.

• Maintain your happiness: Doing what you can to bring as much happiness as possible to yourself and others. Being happy is undeniably good for you; the endorphins it releases reduce stress and pain, and boost your health and immune system. Happiness makes you glad to be alive and pleasant to be around.

• Set aside regular time for yourself: Me time is important for nurturing your relationship with yourself. It is proof that you care about yourself, just as when partner spends time with you, you feel cared about. Take your time for you as seriously as your business appointments or time with your partner. It will help you stay on an even keel, and be a better partner.

• Spend time with people you love: Being with people you care about and who care about you is a great way to affirm your value as a person, and to confirm that your life has meaning and purpose. Make sure you take good care of your friendships and your relationship. Knowing you are loved is a great way to take care of you. Emotional maintenance means thinking about emotional health and staying in touch with your feelings. When you focus on emotional self-care, you and your partner will find hope and energy are created, which gives you even more reason for gratitude.

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The Most Honest Advice About Getting Rich

Leadership Skills Are Necessary For Success

Leadership Skills Are Necessary For Success

When trying to find success in any aspect of life, a person will see little progress without becoming a leader and/or developing the skill set which most leaders possess. Self improvement is something which can be continually worked on as a person is striving for success. Some leadership attributes will have to be learned although it is not necessary to become someone in the public eye or in a top position.

What is a leader? A leader works hard and develops skills which are needed in whatever endeavor they are striving to engage. It is important to improve one's self by reading and learning.

Certain attributes which should be embraced on the way to leadership are:

o A willingness to study and learn all you can
o Set goals and review them each day in order to stay on track
o Change your belief and mindset if necessary
o Use mental thought processes to improve your inner being
o Look at what other leaders do and emulate their actions
o Increase your value to the world and be willing to help others
o Care about and love other people
o Be honest and build trust with others
o Have a positive mental attitude
o Consider yourself a leader and act like one

During, before, and after World War II, Americans of Japanese ancestry were treated very poorly. They lost their freedom as those living on the west coast of the United States were incarcerated in camps during the war simply for looking like the enemy. They were totally innocent, but they were treated harshly because of racism.

It was not easy to have a positive attitude when life was so hard, but they had to try to maintain faith for the future. They faced unimaginable difficulties, but they persevered. They worked hard, and many eventually became leaders in many fields. They kept hope and did not give up.

One of the main things to do to become a leader is to educate yourself. There is so much information from which a person can learn. The internet is full of valuable information, and there are so many books available to help. People are often willing to help each other.

If you ever sign up for free information, you will begin to receive emails every day. That can get annoying as hundreds of useless emails a day could flood your inbox. It is necessary to pick and choose what you want. There is a lot of useless garbage from people who just want your money by trying to sell you something.

If you want to be a leader, believe in yourself and don't give us. It takes hard work and dedication. Success could be just around the corner.

A free eBook is available by checking out the website Many in the general public know very little about this part of American history. The book covers civil rights issues, racism, and success. It is available on Amazon. http://www.thejapaneseamericanstory.com

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Oprah Winfrey - 5 Minutes For The NEXT 50 Years of Your LIFE

How to Use Your Persuasion or Setback Skills to Get What You Want

Are you struggling every day to get what you want? This article shows you some persuasion/setback skills to achieve exactly that.

Here they are:

1. Start your conversation by genuinely praising others. Then get to your point. You will most likely have your needs met.
2. Avoid arguments. If you see a person not liking your approach, try to understand the other person's point of view and turn around your speech. The person is most likely to respond positively to your request.
3. Be cool. Don't get enraged because the other person said something that you didn't like. Deal with it tactfully and win whatever you have in mind.
4. Life can get messy if you start to think negatively. Change your thoughts gradually to positive ones. One right fix in your thoughts can lead to further positive thoughts that will lead you to a positive action, which will, in turn, take you one step closer to your targeted goal.
5. Never give up. Giving up is the easy way out. Keep hanging on and keep trying. After many hard trials, you will become stronger, stand tall on your feet and eventually make it.
6. What if you are bombarded with many challenges at the same time? Ending your life is again the easy way out. To contribute to society - to make a difference that you lived at all, you need to have a straight head, confront one challenge at a time, overcome them, and achieve your desired goal(s).
7. Get the other person respond positively to a row of questions. When he has done so, get to more difficult questions, and he will automatically respond positively. And yes, you can make him agree to your proposal, and getting it approved by him makes you earn your goal in positive terms.
8. When improving the conduct of your team members, use constructive criticism. For instance, you can start with a compliment but follow it by pointing out her blunder. That way she will take your criticism comfortably and also correct her blunder, contributing efficient output to the team and in turn, the entire company.
9. Treat every challenge you meet in the journey of life as an exciting opportunity to learn. Instead of being bogged down easily, make it a game of life to win every challenge, and you are on a sure way to success.

Summing up these are some of the ways you can influence others or meet setbacks skillfully to get what you want ultimately. They are all worthy, and it is up to you to choose two or more of them and apply them to daily life.

Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories and academic guides, amazing self-help eBooks, articles and blogs, all authored by her, and much more, visit: https://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did.

Alternatively, for a different layout of free resources, visit: http://www.facebook.com/RosinaSKhan.hub. You won't be disappointed and remember to like her Facebook page.

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The psychology of self-motivation

5 Tips to Sharpen your Memory Power

Are you looking for ways to sharpen your memory? You can follow a few tips from Ron White who has helped a lot of business professions in improving their mental capacity. As a result, they were able to earn a higher income. Here are 5 tips to help you get started and improve your brain power.

Sleep is Essential

Are you sleep deprived? Getting little sleep will make your mind tired. As a result, you will make mistakes since you won't be able to focus your mind. According to health experts, the recommended amount of sleep for an average person is 6 to 8 hours. So, you should change your routine and go to bed before midnight and then get up early in the morning. This routine change will give your mind a memory boost.

Nutrition and Exercise

If you want your memory to work at its best, you should get good nutrition and do plenty of exercise on a daily basis. Foods that can sharpen your memory include blueberries and spinach. Aside from this, you can buy some omega-3 fish oil tablets for enhancing your memory power. Doing exercises at least 3 times per week is recommended. You can also join a good gym.

Trust Your Memory

According to Ben Pridmore, a World Memory Champion, you should learn to trust your memory if you are struggling to sharpen your mind. All you need to do is trust your memory. Don't think that your mind is not powerful enough to remember stuff you want it to remember. With time, you will see amazing results.

Avoid Negativity

Most people just don't think positive. You may have heard your friend say, "Man, I am not good with names." If this is you, you have to get rid of this cancerous thought. What you believe about yourself will make a huge difference. You should encourage yourself from time to time. If you lose heart, you are not going to go anywhere. This is the only way of getting results. On top of that, negativity will kill you and may make your mind even weaker. Positive thoughts will hone your mind as time goes by.

The Journey Method

Here it is important to note that you can't sharpen your mind overnight. Just like any other ability or skill, you need time. For instance, if you want to go somewhere far away, say the destination is 1000 miles from where you currently are, you will not get there in a few minutes. Even if you are on a plane, it will take you a few hours before you reach that place. The same goes for your mind. You should follow the tips given in this article and then be patient.

Long story short, the memory training advice given in this article will help you see a significant improvement in your mental power with time. Aside from this, these tips may have a positive impact on your self-confidence as well. And you will become a more successful person down the road.

If you are looking for ways to sharpen your memory, you may want to try puzzle books, especially Sudoku puzzle books.

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5 Habits to Give Up if You Want to Be Successful

Smart Thinking Over Positive and Negative Thinking

When you classify things into positive and negative, you are stuck with both simultaneously as one cannot exist without the other. Remember that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - this is a law stated by Newton but Newton didn't create it. Nature did. Because Nature strives for neutrality and that impetus is driven by an underlying state of non-duality (which, alas, we can hardly experience because our thinking is limited, whether positive or negative).

So if everything is underlying neutral, and positive and negative are only a matter of perception, does that mean that we need to strive to eliminate positive and negative thoughts altogether? Should we try and "dull" our perception so we can experience everything as it really is, i.e. as a continuous, amorphous, all-connected nothingness? And wouldn't that put us at a risk of becoming a vegetable of sorts, never feeling much of anything (low or high), existing in an even, emotionless state? Is that a goal worthy of our time and life?

Not to worry! We humans cannot even come close to this (unless we experience some serious brain damage, which I definitely don't recommend). For whatever reason, we think whatever we think (perceived as "positive" or "negative") before we can think about it, i.e. the thoughts are much faster than us and out of our control. They come and go all the time, despite us.

So in this human body we will continue to register thoughts, and it isn't about controlling the thought itself (you can't do that), it is about the weight you assign to that thought as an observer (that you could control, if you are skillful enough). A thought comes, maybe it seems positive, or perhaps it seems negative. A corresponding feeling is generated. Don't give it any importance. Don't judge it, and it will go as fast as it came (always does). And a next state will come (before you know it and of course completely out of your control). Do the same with that next thought and the feeling it generated. It made you angry? Don't judge it! Simply experience anger which, of course, will go as quickly as it came (unless you give it importance). Or perhaps the thought made you happy. Don't praise it! Simply experience happiness but don't get too attached for this too shall pass.

As you can see, it isn't about what you are thinking but about what judgements you have about what you are thinking. In other words, pay attention to the attitude with which you are observing your thoughts and the emotional states they generate. Don't struggle to think positive for the more you do that, the more negativity you bring up to balance things out. Think smart instead, accepting and experiencing life's apparent richness (happy, sad, low or high) without taking any of it too seriously. After all, life is just a game. Play smart and you win.

Vyara Bridgeman is an Advanced Certified BodyTalk practitioner who works with patients from all over the world suffering a variety of physical, mental and emotional conditions. To find out more about Vyara's BodyTalk practice, what her clients say about her, and how she can help you achieve a balanced body-mind, visit: http://www.BodyTalk4Life.com

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HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK

Sometimes You've Just Got to Say 'No'

Sometimes You've Just Got to Say 'No'

Many people find that it's their automatic default to say 'yes' whenever something is asked of them. They may have learned to respond without even thinking about it, maybe regard others' needs as more important than their own or don't want to cause disappointment, offence or appear 'difficult' by declining.

Saying 'yes' can be a positive trait that opens new doors and experiences. It can be a significant investment in our relationships, but used too often or without due consideration can also lead to overwhelm, frustration and resentment.

Let's look at why sometimes you've just got to say 'no';

- At times it can become apparent that we need to re-define the boundaries of our relationships and remind/reinstate the parameters of what's appropriate and acceptable. Over time we may have ended up doing things out of habit or by default. That's not always the best or most respectful way to live. From now let's decide to be clearer about our roles and check whether the things we accept or agree to are still okay for us. Saying 'no' can be an important part of reclaiming our self-respect.

- Personal time and space is integral to good self-care. Don't underestimate the role of some me-time. Just because you're free and don't have an important task or commitment at the moment means you should feel guilty or allow others to encroach on that time. If you had an appointment with an important client it's hard to imagine that you'd let something distract you from honouring it. So, put yourself in your diary and say 'no' to cancelling, unless a real emergency crops up. Commit to regular time for yourself.

- Sometimes saying 'no' can be a way of letting others know how much you do, what else you've got on, that you're too busy to take on any more. They perhaps don't appreciate the extent of your responsibilities and commitments, how time-consuming they are and may well back off once you've explained firmly and politely. If you always say 'yes' they may think you don't mind, are happy to be the 'go to guy'. And it may be that it's only upon reflection, that you start to appreciate how much you actually do, automatically, without a second thought.

- Don't forget too that boredom is often underrated. We may feel obligated to fill every moment with meaningful activity, with chores, catching up with people, self-improvement. There's often a list of things we could/should/ought to be doing, but doing nothing is fine occasionally. It lets our minds and bodies calm down and be still. It teaches us about the importance of silence and inactivity, about switching off our 'I'm ready, bring it on' adrenalin. Children often learn a lot when they're bored. All too often they have technology, films and adults desperate to provide constant stimulus and amusement, but children, when left to their own devices, are often ingenious at using their imaginations and amusing themselves. That skill needs to be encouraged.

- Find acceptable ways of saying 'no', that you're comfortable with. Anger and outrage can flare if we feel we're under pressure to do more, always say 'yes', but that extreme reaction is often unnecessary. Saying, 'it's not a good time for me', or 'I'm busy, already doing x and y' may be enough to placate the situation, inform others of things you're already doing and encourage them to respect you and your time more.

- Then there are those of us who say 'yes' so frequently to invitations that we forget which concerts, events, parties we've actually been to! Saying 'yes' too often can turn special moments into a half-remembered blur. A bit like testing too many perfumes, we become numb and unable to fully appreciate each experience.

Saying 'yes' is important. It gets us out of our comfort zone, keeps us alert and receptive to new experiences and opportunities. And often when we say 'yes' and commit to seemingly impossible opportunities or agree to things we don't want to do, we can be pleasantly surprised at how well they turn out. But equally, we need to be ready to say 'no' if we feel overloaded, trapped, taken for granted or not properly equipped to do a good job. Used well, both yes and no can serve positive roles in our lives.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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The Mindset of High Achievers

How Can Leadership and Personal Development Help your Career?

You can equip yourself with the skills needed to become a competent leader

The road to professional growth and development is often lined with hurdles and setbacks. Unanticipated challenges can cause your career to become stagnant. At times, it might seem like whatever you are doing is not providing you with the desired results. Instead of feeling helpless or letting frustration engulf you, you need to take concrete steps to come out of the situation as a winner. By equipping yourself with the skills needed to thrive against any such adversity, you can steer your career towards the right direction. If you want to know how a course in leadership and personal development can be of help for you, read on.

What is the relation between leadership abilities and personal development?

The world is changing at a fast rate and so is the method of working. The current business scenario demands that you work and manage your responsibilities in a smart manner. No longer can you depend on the methods that were earlier considered to be effective. To survive in this challenging business environment, you have to improve your personal and leadership skills. Realising that personal development and leadership abilities are interrelated is the first step towards being self-aware and working to recognise your full potential. In order to be an able leader, you need to have a positive outlook. Personal development enables you to introduce positive changes in your life and look at things from an optimistic angle.

Why is it significant to improve your leadership abilities and personal skills?

Leadership skill is an indispensable requirement of attaining success in career and remaining ahead of your competitors. To be able to leverage the opportunities coming your way and to establish your credibility as a competent leader, you must possess the right skills and aptitude needed for the same. By improving your leadership abilities and personal skills, you will be able to gain confidence and develop the perspective required to face any situation or overcome any challenge aptly.

How can leadership abilities and personal skills be beneficial for you?

When you develop your leadership abilities, you will improve your capacity to perform in leadership-oriented roles within your organisation. Once you start handling leadership duties, you will gain deeper insights and your perspective will broaden. This will help you to make decisions and take responsibilities. By focusing on your abilities and working on your weaknesses, you will be able to recognise your potential and make the best use of it. On the other hand, personal development will help you to recognise your personal goals and work towards attaining them. By aligning your professional and personal goals, you will be able to chart a definite course of action to achieve the overall objective of your life.

What can you expect from a program in leadership abilities and personal development?

A program in leadership abilities and personal development can help you to grow as an individual and as an authority figure in your organisation. You can expect to gain in the following ways from such a program:

• Improve your interpersonal skills
• Assess your skills
• Enhance your knowledge
• Recognise your potential
• Identify your strengths and weaknesses
• Learn to manage your workload effectively
• Inspire others to give their best in work

When to opt for leadership abilities and personal development course?

Often people assume that leadership is for the top ranking people in any company or organisation. But that is a wrong notion. You can take up a course in leadership skills and personal development at any point in your career. Only when you have the skills for leadership will you be able to proceed in that direction.

Do you need help?

If you are struggling to make a mark as a leader or want to gain the skills required for the same, a management and leadership training provider may be able to help you. By understanding your goals and identifying your requirements, they will be able to chalk out a course targeted to meet your needs.

Maguire Training is a renowned name for sales, management, leadership, and personal development training programs. Since its inception in 1999, the company has helped countless organisations and individuals with their training requirements. Some of the most renowned companies in the UK feature as their clients.

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RICH VS POOR MINDSET

5 Tips on How to Set Personal Development Goals

Setting personal development goals can give you motivation and a vision of success. It can also encourage you to improve your skills and expand your knowledge. However, it takes persistence and patience for you to achieve the goals.

One of the main reasons why people set development goals is to boost their self-confidence. Hence, by establishing and sticking with the goals, you get a sense of achievement. Below are some tips on how to set personal development goals.

Tips on How to Set Personal Development Goals

1. Consider what you want to accomplish

We all want to achieve specific goals in life. Therefore, when setting your personal development goals, think of things you like and what might be missing. For instance, you may want to develop your relationships. Therefore, get a pen and paper and write down the critical aspects of life you want to improve.

2. Write achievable personal development goals

Now start creating your personal goals. However, your goals should be smart and workable. The goals should be:

• Measurable - your goals should be reasonable. For example, if you want to make better financial choices, set a budget and stick to it.

• Specific - your goals should be accurate. Do not say your goal is to a better person. Be definite by stating what to do to be a better person. You can choose to join a club or start reading books.

• Attainable - are your goals realistic? You cannot achieve your goals if you do not have time and resources.

• Relevant - development goals should be suitable. For instance, you cannot become a marathoner if you do not have time to practice.

3. Consider short-term

Focusing on long-term goals can motivate you, but it can be depressing. To avoid being discouraged, break your goals into small and achievable items. For example, have a daily routine that includes your goals. This will motivate you and encourage you to continue working on the objectives.

4. Treat yourself

Achieving personal development goals is not easy. Therefore, treat yourself whenever you complete one. Set targets for yourself and when you meet them, reward yourself.

5. Surround yourself with the right people

The best way to achieve personal development goals is to get support from good people. This is because it is difficult to meet the targets all by yourself. Your family members, friends and teachers or lecturers can help you achieve your goals. Tell them about your goals so that they can support you. However, if you surround yourself with people with negative people, you will have problems meeting the goals. Also, you need positive feedback to attain your goals. Joining a group or a class of people with similar goals can help.

Bottom-line

Setting and achieving personal development goals can give you the confidence to move on and become a better person. But it is not an easy task, mainly due life issues, emotional problems, and disappointments. However, if you keep your goals front and have positive affirmations every day, you can tackle anything. Remember, even if you fail to achieve something you have hoped, do not give up.

Do you want to learn more about self-development? If so, feel free to download [http://www.be-you.live] my product that teaches you about how to reach your full potential [http://www.be-you.live].

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Step into your purpose - Lisa Nichols