Your Authentic Self: Love Who You Are Right Now

 Many of us live our lives on autopilot. We exist day to day programmed like an automaton and never consider the choices we have. We let our old habits dominate what we do and what we think. We have walked down the same familiar, well-worn path for so long that we assume this is what life is all about. We unwittingly accept it and do not believe it can be any better or different. We can become so entrenched in our old habits that we do not even realize that we are not living but are only surviving.

If you think about it, many of us have spent the better part of our lives operating based on a series of false beliefs. These beliefs can make us feel as if we are somehow inadequate. We learned to say and do things to keep the peace and make others happy. But, who is working on making us happy? This task, my friends, is ours and ours alone. Researchers suggest that our ability to be congruent with ourselves and others is linked to our happiness.

When we are congruent with ourselves, our inner world matches our outer world. We are our "authentic self." Being our authentic self is about reconnecting with who we are. It is about being true to ourselves. It is about having our thoughts (inner world), words, and actions (outer world) match. It is about honoring our feelings and having the confidence to express them. It is about going deep inside and letting go of the false beliefs, which are not serving us any longer.

Individuals who are controlled by their negative programmed false beliefs frequently want to please others over themselves. They also have a hard time being authentic. It can be terrifying to do or say things that go against the norm, the tried and true. Our ability to be authentic is often challenged in our relationships, where we find ourselves discarding our own wants and needs to make room for what we think others desire. We fear the repercussions of our words and actions. "Will he or she still accept me if I speak my truth?" "What will happen if I say no?"

Being authentic allows us to love and accept ourselves at our core, to do what makes us happy, and to follow our passions regardless of who we may disappoint. Doing so may leave us vulnerable, but at the same time, allows for the creation of genuine, intimate relationships filled with unconditional love.

What does loving ourselves feel like? It is about treating ourselves with kindness, concern, and compassion. It is about not judging ourselves harshly or punishing ourselves for every mistake we make. It is about being warm and understanding, recognizing our inadequacies and imperfections, and responding to them with the same level of support and respect we freely offer others. It is about liking who we are, lock, stock, and barrel.

Self-love compels us to act with our best interest in mind and challenges us to ask, "Why not?" As they say, whatever does not kill you will make you stronger. Imagine the inner strength you will develop as you flex this muscle.

We naturally love ourselves when we have appropriate self-worth and self-esteem. These things allow us to be internally whole and let us interact with the world as our authentic selves. There is one other thing that is required to love ourselves. It necessitates we move beyond our fears. It demands us to have the courage to feel our feelings and honor them, regardless of where they may lead.

We have to be willing to risk showing our true self, complete with all of our imperfections, shortcoming, and insecurities when we are our authentic selves. We have to embrace who we are instead of who we think we should be. We also have to be prepared to love ourselves enough to accept the costs and consequences our words and actions may elicit from others. It might sting in the moment, but in hindsight many come to realize it was the best and smartest thing they ever did. Being authentic creates a foundation where we can begin to experience joy and happiness in all we do every day of our lives.

Excerpt from: The Dysfunctional Dance Of The Empath And Narcissist

© Copyright Rita Louise, Inc. - SoulHealer.com. All rights reserved.

Dr. Rita Louise is a gifted empath and talented clairvoyant medical intuitive. She is a Naturopathic physician and the founder of the Institute Of Applied Energetics that trains students in the art of medical intuition, intuitive counseling, and energy medicine. She has authored six books, including her new title The Dysfunctional Dance , and produced several feature-length and short films. Dr. Louise has appeared on radio, television and in movies and has lectured on health and healing, ghosts, intuition, ancient mysteries and the paranormal. Her books and articles have worldwide circulation. You can visit her webpage at https://soulhealer.com or https://medical-intuitives.com

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How To Get Through Depression or Personal Struggle and Start Healing Right Now

Self-Compassion - Same As Self-Love?

 People fail. From time to time they mess up on the challenges of family relationships, life style, work etc. And when they blunder, they suffer adverse consequences. No wonder then that we speak of being kind and sympathetic to those who fail - who are struggling financially, emotionally, or interpersonally. But when it comes to our own problems, do we feel we ought to show the same thoughtfulness, the same gentleness, the same tolerance? Don't we need self-care as well as care for others? The mindfulness movement advocates we practice self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is a practice in which we learn to be a good friend for ourselves when we need it most - to become an inner ally rather than an inner enemy." (Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer, mindfulness teachers)

Why is self-compassion needed?
"All of us wish we'd had perfect childhoods, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to internalize the tenets of self-love. Many of us, however, did not." (Marianne Williamson, American author, spiritual leader, politician, and activist.)

Self-compassion and self-criticism
One can be sympathetically honest with a good friend regarding their weaknesses or mistakes.

"Sure, the job of high school teachers is not to tear down students' self-esteem. But it's certainly not to inflate students' sense of self-worth with a bunch of unearned compliments and half-truths." (L.Z. Granderson, American journalist)

Likewise having self-compassion and accepting our own faults does not mean agreeing with them. Honest self-acceptance can lead to correcting our mistakes. Self-evaluation is the vital first step towards personal change.

We can be self-critical without indulging in harsh self-criticism. Unless we honestly look at ourselves, we are in danger of self-justification, amounting to self-deception.

Self-compassion and self-pity
One can have sympathy towards one's own plight without being absorbed in oneself and wallowing in self-pity.

"Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror." (Anne Roiphe, American feminist and author)

"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make." (Eckhart Tolle, spiritual author and teacher)

Self-indulgence
One can be kind to oneself without going on a self-indulgent binge or spending spree. Self-compassion is compatible with self-restraint.

I would suggest there has been a pressure on people to look perfect heightened by the celebrity culture. This has led to inadequate feelings particularly in many women exploited by advertising.

"L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card." (Geoff Mulgan, British social and political writer)

Self-interest
Loving oneself is good. For unless we love ourselves, how could we hope to love others? Likewise, without self-respect, how could we respect others?

There is a balance needed between love of self and love of others. A big difference lies between, on the one hand, having sufficient love and compassion for yourself and, on the other hand, narcistic self-love. The latter amounts to prioritising self-love which is never going to lead to feeling compassionate towards others in need. For when self-love rules, it results in self-serving, self-interest and selfishness.

"A modest dose of self-love is entirely healthy - who would want to live in a world where everyone hated themselves? But taken too far, it soon becomes poisonous." (Geoff Mulgan)

Lack of self-compassion blocks compassion for others.
Compassion for others may sound like a tall order. This is the case especially for those of us who lack self-compassion. But it is a higher calling.

Compassion is the key to living outside the confines of your lower self. (Debbie Ford, American self-help author and coach))

Can self-compassion as we have defined it, actually help us to find this deeper concern for others?

"Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly." (Rachel Simmons, American author)

How can we care for others if we cannot practice self-care? How can we be kind to others unless we are kind to ourselves? However, when we accept our own difficulty and unhappiness then we can better recognise that of others. Our pain is part of the shared human experience. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life. As Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer point out, we are all flawed works in progress. When we see this then it helps us to feel connected with others in the same boat as ourselves. It facilitates a compassionate attitude towards our common humanity.

Self-compassion and Christian heritage
I see this growing interest in self-compassion as a healthy reaction against an unfortunate strand in our Western Christian heritage. This has been in my view a somewhat punitive notion of God. It assumes f there is a possibility the God who is love and mercy itself might not want to forgive us for any wrongdoing.

According to the analysis of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, this mistaken attitude stems from treating the biblical picture of multiple deity as literally true when it's meaning is metaphorical. Not three Gods but three aspects of the one God. As a result of this error a common image of God the Father has been one of wanting humankind to suffer for falling by the wayside. This anger, it is supposed, could only be appeased through the self-sacrifice of God the Son.

I would say this mistaken notion of deity has resulted in the traditional idea of 'original sin'. If true such a doctrine would mean we are all born guilty sinners deserving harsh treatment.

Such a negative view has permeated our ways of thinking. Unsurprisingly, we are quick to criticise our own shortcomings, failings and wrong-doing as warranting ill-fortune, punishment or rejection. And some of us actually condemn ourselves as unworthy of self-respect and care of others. The Gospel, however, is clear about our proper attitude to ourselves.

"Love your neighbour as yourself" (Jesus Christ)

As a clinical psychologist, Stephen Russell-Lacy has specialised in cognitive-behavioural psychotherapy, working for many years with adults suffering distress and disturbance.

He edits Spiritual Questions a free eZine that explores links between spiritual philosophy and the comments and questions of spiritual seekers. You can share your views and find out more about making sense of life.

His eBook Heart, Head and Hands draws links between the psycho-spiritual teachings of the eighteenth century spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg and current ideas in therapy and psychology.

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Mel Robbins: The TRUTH about friendship

Tips for Better Self Care

 It can be difficult to make time for self-care in our busy schedules. We run from one commitment to another, filling every gap in our life with work, study, family and social events. The chaos of modern life makes it even more important that we take the time to care for our individual wellbeing, both physically and mentally.

If you are struggling with your own self-care, consider these five tips to improve your habits.

1. Add self-care to your normal routine
When planning your weekly schedule, make sure that you have time for self-care. Cementing its place in your routine means that you will be more likely to commit to self-care as you will have allocated time specifically reserved for it. The more often you practice self-care, the more it will become a habit and part of your regular life.

2. Do what suits you
Self-care looks for different for everyone. Some people enjoy getting outdoors, others like catching up with friends and some people prefer sitting at home losing themselves in a good book or movie. Identify what makes you feel better and commit to that. Donít feel pressured by what others consider self-care; long walks arenít for everyone.

3. Practice gratitude
Engaging in regular gratitude practice is a valuable habit and a worthwhile way to spend your allocated self-care time. Take some time each day or week to write down three things that you are grateful for. Try to think of unique things that have happened for that week, rather than repeating the same common things each time. It may be difficult at first, but the more you practice gratitude the easier it will become. Regular participation in gratitude exercises trains your brain to be more thankful and positive about the things you have in your life, rather than focusing on the things you donít have or things that arenít going so well.

4. Be brave and try something new
Trying something new is a great way to break the monotony of everyday life. Your mental health will benefit and you will learn new skills, both through the actual activity but also in regard to managing your nerves and being open to new opportunities. Itís a great way to take care of your mental, and depending on the activity, physical health.

It's time for you to make you a priority.

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Stop caring about what other people think | Mel Robbins

The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

Scott "Q" Marcus is a motivational weight loss expert who specializes on helping baby boomers live happier, healthier lives. He is a professional speaker, Syndicated Columnist, and the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a site for people who are tired of making promises to themselves but are willing to do what it takes to actually makes changes. He conducts on-line workshops on change each month at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com/intentions

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Cure your fear of disappointing people | Mel Robbins

Questioning Yourself To Successful Habit Changes

 Being a professional in the goal-setting field, I find it fascinating to witness some of the machinations we will go through to achieve our objectives.

There are countless apps designed to help one achieve goals, ranging from diet and exercise, to being more organized, to simply uplifting one's mood. For those less inclined to make change via an app, I've heard of some who journal, use to-do lists, or even pray and meditate on the desired outcomes. Of course, hiring a coach helps too. (Hint, hint... )

I am not judging any technique. If you're dedicated to your goals and willing to do the work, however you choose it, more power to you - especially in this ever-stressful world in which we find ourselves. That said, if you personally felt stuck and would like to make some changes; whether health-related, financial, or emotional, this four-question process is ridiculously easy to use and amazingly effective.

Question #1: Suppose I was successful; how would I know?

It seems silly to start here, but the reality is oft-times we fall short of our objectives because we've never defined the outcome clearly. We say "I want to feel better," or "I want to get more fit." Whereby those are lofty intentions, they're not concrete enough to drive us to an endpoint. Sure, they might get us started, but we'll often stall because we don't know when we've arrived and the journey feels daunting and without end.

It's more effective to state a goal such as "I will walk 30 minutes three times a week;" or "I will take time each day to write down five things for which I'm grateful.'

Being able to identify a clear change in behavior is essential to achieving goals.

Question #2: What has to happen for that objective to occur?

Obviously, if we were doing what we needed to do, we'd already be where we want to be. Since we're not yet "there," something must adjust. To that end, we have basically four options: start a new behavior; stop an existing behavior; do more of an already-existing behavior; or do less of an existing behavior.

Behavioral changes therefore might be, "put a 30-minute activity appointment in my calendar on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday;" or "reserve 10 minutes each morning to record those things for which I'm grateful."

The trick here is not to line out an entire series of changes, but to define one simple, effective adjustment you can make to move forward.

Question #3: Can I do that?

If you are not in complete control of what the behavioral change, success is left up to fate.

For example, if - in Question #2 - you stated, "Find a walking partner;" that leaves you stagnant until your find someone who shares your goal. Even if you do find a walking partner, what happens if she gets sick or decides she doesn't want to continue your joint-regimen? You're back to square one.

It doesn't mean you can't bring others along on your journey, but the path must be structured to move you forward irrespective of whether anyone else helps or hinders you.

By the way, if the answer to Question #3 is not "Yes," that means your goal in Question #1 is wrong for you. Make it smaller or rework it.

Question #4: Will I do that?

This requires brutal honesty with yourself. Sure, technically you can do that, but will you? Answers such as, "As soon as... " or "When the weather changes... " or "I'll try... " are merely fancier ways of saying, "No." There's no judgement in "No," but it highlights a truth; that truth being, "I'm not going to."

Either commit to doing it or go back to Question #1 and start again.

Repeat these four questions until you can get all the way to the end. Most times, you'll have to go through this process several times, each time whittling down your objective, until it all fits. Once that happens, the final bonus question kicks in:

Special Bonus Question: By when?

You've outlined your goal, determined what you have to do, realized it's indeed in your control, and committed to doing it. Next step is to set a deadline. By the way, "ASAP" is not a deadline as everything else will take higher priority.

Without deadlines, there's no urgency. Without urgency, there's very virtually no chance you'll move forward.

Scott "Q" Marcus refers to himself as "recovering perfectionist" because after losing 70 pounds in 1994, he realized it's better to do something well than nothing perfectly. He now conducts playful, lively speeches, workshops, and presentations throughout the country on how to achieve goals, improve attitude, and enhance communication. His presentations are described as a "cross between business 101, group therapy, and a southern revival." You can contact him for speaking, coaching or consulting, or you can sign up for his free ezine, "This Time I Mean It" at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com

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You need to stop apologizing | Mel Robbins

10 Reasons Why Honesty Is Important to Be Successful

 You want the people with whom you come into contact to accurately think of you as being an honest person. Anything less is unacceptable if you want to be successful in all aspects of your life.

If you are dishonest everyone with whom you come into contact (friends, relatives, employers and others) will ignore or dismiss everything you say and do as being false and unreliable. Who can build and achieve what they want with such a character flaw? The answer is obvious.

Following is a brief list of reasons why honesty, as a character trait, is so important:

1. You would be considered untrustworthy and your chances of getting the job you want is severely limited if you are dishonest. Employers can't afford to hire people who are less than honest. Employees who are found to be deceitful are destined to be fired.

2. Many times, untruthfulness or dishonesty is unlawful. Lying could land you in jail or facing fines. The same is true when applying for a loan, reporting sales tax or supplying information for a loan.

3. Being known as a person who misrepresents the truth is a perception that is hard to reverse. Trustworthy behavior on the part of an individual is highly valued by our society.

4. Your potential to achieve success in all aspects of your life is severely limited if dishonesty is part of your character. You would limit your opportunities. Others would maintain their distance from you.

5. Being less than honest can and will be hurtful to others and cause great pain to loved ones. Your personal relationships would be either harmed or destroyed.

6. Others are inclined to describe or recommend you as a dependable individual who can be trusted when you are consistently authentic. Your words carry greater weight, as you are known to be a person who tells the truth. Your chances of advancement and credibility are enhanced.

7. Being deceitful with others naturally lowers your self-esteem and requires energy for you to maintain the false appearance of authenticity. Some people suggest that promoting falsehoods could actually be harmful to your physical and emotional health.

8. You will suffer a lack of respect from a poor reputation. Others will avoid contact with you personally and professionally.

9. Your chances of being able to improve your life (financially and socially) will be severely limited. People who are known for misrepresenting facts and being disingenuous are avoided.

10. Your bearing false witness is harmful to society in general. A misleading behavior by an individual can actually have far reaching ripple effects on society.

Any aspirations you might have are hampered by a lack of honesty.

Choosing to cultivate honesty as one of your characters traits is a necessity if you want to be successful in life. So is your reputation and emotional well being.

Many people go through life wondering why circumstances fail to break their way. Frequently it's his or her character flaw, such as lying, or limits a chance for success.

Dr. Perry is the author of "Are You Following a Path to Success?: How Do You Know?" and owner of The Learning Net (www.thelearningnet.org). Perry has significant experience as a vocational technical educator, and is the author of numerous articles and books and is also a "Professor Emeritus in the University in the North Carolina system".

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Mel Robbins: How to have difficult conversations

Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

 Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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The Secret to Stopping Fear and Anxiety (That Actually Works)

 

How To CONTROL Your Financial Plans?

 After, serving, in, both, management/ supervisory positions, as well as a Registered Representative, for a few investment/ financial services, companies, as well as providing, personal financial planning advice, for decades, it's important to recognize, it's nearly always, at least, largely, up - to - you! How one focuses, and moves forward, in an effort to carefully consider, and CONTROL his personal finances, makes a world of difference, in terms of your ultimate results! Becoming more financially secure, and reducing the associated stresses, and strains, which accompany failure to feel that way, impose a combination of emotional, as well as other challenges and obstacles. With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, discuss, and review, using the mnemonic approach, what this means and represents, and why it's a smart way to proceed.

1. Coordinate; create budget: Do you treat your personal finances, as a corporate financial manager, might treat their corporate funds? This means, taking true personal responsibility, instead of lip - service, or, merely, blaming - and - complaining! Wise individuals, consistently, take the time, and make a thorough effort, to create a meaningful budget, which they will honor and respect! Every potential revenue item, as well as each expenditure. etc, should be carefully considered, in an honest, realistic way, focused on the finest path, towards effectively coordinating your life's activities, so money and financial obstacles, don't interfere with enjoying your life!

2. Options; opportunities; open - mind: Remain open - minded, and consider your personal options and alternatives, in order to take advantage of the finest opportunities, and/ or, create your finest opportunity, to achieve your goals, priorities, and objectives!

3. Needs: What are your personal, true needs, and, why do you perceive them, as such? How will you be able to address, the best course of action, to pursue, unless/ until, you fully consider these? It's always, up - to - you!

4. Take charge; time - tested; timely; truthful: Don't lie to yourself, but, rather, be truthful, so you can best plan, accordingly! Take charge of your own destiny, rather than letting, outside forces, control your fate! Your education and commitment/ discipline, should allow your time - tested skills, and understanding, provide you with the self - confidence, to proceed with well - considered, timely action, instead of resorting to the dangers, from procrastination!

5. Relevant; responsive; realistic: Learn from the past, but don't get stuck, in the mud! Pursue, consistently, the most relevant, realistic path, which is responsive to your present, and future financial, and personal needs!

6. Orderly: The finest results come from proceeding, in an orderly, well - considered way! The better you are prepared, the happier, you will be!

7. Listen; learn; lessons; long - term: Commit to effectively listening, and learning from every conversation and experience, and using your lessons, towards the finest, long - term results!

If you hope to live, happily, and feeling, financially security, you must be ready, willing, and able, to CONTROL your personal financial plans! Are you up to the task?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10253996

The 4 Secrets To Build Your Self Discipline - Marisa Peer

 

Caught in the In-Between

 I'm hardly the most original philosopher if I point out life moves in cycles.

There's the life cycle where, as a beloved childhood classic reminds me, lions eat antelopes but also become the grass.

There's the life cycle of the individual - birth, reproduction, death.

Day and night chase each other in an endless loop.

More than that, every day contains cycles within cycles. Energy levels rise and fall according to complex, repeating neurochemical patterns. Even the breath is nothing but an inhale forever followed by an exhale.

Like I say, hardly original. The ancient Taoists beat me to the punch with that one.

And yet...

Whenever I look around, all I see are broken cycles.

If we follow our nature, we experience periods of deep hunger and deep satisfaction. Yet most folks are never truly hungry or satiated. Many folks are always a little hungry - heck, I know people who have bragged about that. But because they're never truly full, they never feel true hunger.

And as humans, we're supposed to explode with energy - the sort of energy needed to take down a wild animal - followed by periods of relaxation. But, again, most folks buzz along - stressed enough to stay on edge all day, then wonder why they can't sleep at night.

Even emotionally - if all your days bleed into each other, it's because they don't have the highs and lows that mark a rich life.

"Stability" is a worthy goal in life... so long as you understand it means the low points don't knock you on your butt.

It doesn't mean everything's always fine, it just means the challenges won't destroy you.

I'm not saying anyone's life is completely flat. Everyone experiences moments where they are hungrier than other times. But it's easy to slip into a washed-out life where the peaks and troughs are much closer together than they should be.

This is an insidious problem. It's probably a major cause of that dull, grey feeling you get when everything in life is going fine, but you still feel... I dunno.

Bored.

Unsatisfied.

Frustrated.

I call this The In-Between. It can sneak up on you, leaving you wondering what's going wrong.

This.

This is what's wrong.

You might think you need variety and, in a way, you do. But I don't mean signing up for a new hobby. I mean, maybe that will help. Maybe it'll inspire you and reignite the fire in your belly.

But maybe it'll just be yet another thing to do.

Another flat, vanilla, not-terrible-and-not-amazing experience.

So then what's the answer?

Go through more terrible situations?

Well... maybe. The right sort of experience could give you what you need. Plenty of folks have found that what seemed to be a crisis - losing a job, for example - turned out to be exactly what they needed to break their rut.

Sometimes a crisis is the challenge we need - something to rise to. Think of the brilliant movie, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, to see what I mean.

But, you know, sometimes bad experiences are just bad.

Or you could try to chase more peak experiences. But that becomes another trap all too easily. Maybe your dream is a week on the beach with no email and no distractions. So you find yourself in a grey, uninspiring, In-Between-inducing job... to save money for months or years... for a holiday that ends up being a letdown.

So, again, sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

Then what am I suggesting?

The best starting point...

... the easiest, most reliable, most immediately beneficial starting point...

... is to learn how to relax.

No, I don't mean vegging out on the couch.

Or playing video games til dawn.

Or even putting your feet up and watching the sunset with a beer in hand.

I mean learning to deeply relax your nervous system - to drive the tension from your muscles.

To finally let go of what you've been unconsciously gripping for so long.

Do that and you'll find your energy levels rise. The deeper you move from the In-Between, the higher your energy peaks can rise. Your natural cycle of energy, once reignited, will churn along on its own.

This is why folks swear by meditation: it can (and I emphasise "can") lead to this perfect level of relaxation.

And the energy boons that follow in your waking state.

So that's one way to enhance your life.

But if self-improvement really interests you, what would you do with more techniques than you can use?

Like, say, 60 of them?

Get your hands on Three-Score Navike - the comprehensive and easy way to grow and evolve - right here:

https://guided-thought.com/navike/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089

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How To Be Confident In Any Situation? (Body Language Secrets) - Marisa Peer

 

Use It or Lose Yourself

 Many folks, myself included, had this problem a few months ago.

Now, thanks to the lockdown, it's probably worse.

This isn't something folks talk about much. Sure, it comes up here or there - but, honestly, I see this as a major challenge.

And the source of a lot of our misery.

Since it deserves more attention, here's me doing my bit towards it.

So let's talk about unspent energy.

To see what I mean, imagine you're bursting with energy. It's like you've drank your weight in caffeine except, instead of getting all twitchy, you're able to focus.

You just want to go for a run.

Or maybe write 5000 words.

Instead...

You go to bed and bingewatch something.

When you're tired, there's nothing nicer than slipping between the sheets and letting yourself rest. But when you're bouncing? It's hard to stay still, as if your legs will move even if you don't want them to.

Okay, that sounds unpleasant.

But it's hardly the worst torture in the world.

Until you do it the next day as well.

Then the day after that.

After a while, that twitchiness and restless grows stronger. It starts to feel like the energy is eating you alive.

Then the energy will start coming out in other, unhealthy ways. It'll either disappear, leaving you feeling strangely tired. Or you'll start to act out in strange ways, like lashing out at your loved ones.

Probably both, to be honest.

Now think about other types of energy you can have, besides physical.

You can have the desire to work hard on meaningful projects - but, to pay the bills, you do dull, tedious work that doesn't amount to anything. Apart from enriching your bosses, of course. Someone in this situation can lash out in strange ways. You've seen (and probably even experienced) it for yourself.

It can start out with craving distractions - like junk food, video games or worse.

Then it can start to tear you apart, physically and mentally.

I'm not saying this is the only problem an unfulfilling job causes. And I'm not saying spending an hour a day on some other, meaningful project will fix everything.

But it can.

Oh, boy, can it.

(Why do you think I started writing?)

Speaking of, creative energy is another thing that needs an outlet. City simulators, Minecraft and whatnot are all so popular because they give folks a way to release pent-up creative frustration. If everyone were writing a book - something they were deeply passionate about - these games would be much less popular.

And, of course, there's the energy around sexuality. I won't go into the ways a person can go wrong when that's not being expressed.

You might have dozens of sources of energy like this.

Some days, you get up to make a difference

Others, because you enjoy spending time with people.

Others still, it's all about the paycheque - which you funnel into worthy causes close to your heart.

The list goes on.

And it's an important list because any of these energies - improperly managed or expressed - can cause all sorts of problems.

Invisibly wearing at the foundations of your psyche, until things start to collapse.

If I were to give you just one mission for this month, it's this:

Figure out ways your energies are being stifled.

Then figure out healthy ways to channel and express them.

And you know what's useful for both those steps?

Focus, mental clarity and action.

All of which are enhanced by the right sort of mental guidance. And right now, at no cost, you can download 8 easy-to-use mind training audios.

The only thing you need to invest is your email address, where you'll receive an article like this every day. You can opt out at any time of course - but only if you sign up here first:

https://guided-thought.com/daily-email/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089

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You don't think you deserve it | Mel Robbins

 

Simplify to Multiply

 I don't know why you want to improve your mind.

I don't know whether you want to perform better in business, studies or on the field.

Or if you want to supercharge your career, as an employee or entrepreneur.

Or you simply want to live your full potential.

In any case, you can improve yourself in counterintuitive ways.

I got to thinking about this when my mind dug up something I haven't thought about in ages:

Many years ago, I read an article from someone who had just upgraded their mobile phone.

Before the upgrade, they could make calls and send texts. And they'd text maybe twice a day, and call twice a week.

Then they got their new, fancy phone with (gasp) internet capabilities.

Now, they were on their phone all the time.

What confused and even troubled them was what this meant for their telco of choice.

Back when they barely used it, they paid (say) $30 a month.

Now they're glued to it, they were paying around $40 or $50 bucks a month.

The economics of that can't hold! Every phone provider has gone mad and is teetering on the brink of financial ruin!

... right?

Well, history shows it wasn't so. That was a very good time to sell mobile phone plans.

So, what gives?

Were the older phone plans so overpriced, there was enough slack to handle this shift?

That's likely, sure.

Were they making most of their profits from elsewhere - say, business plans as opposed to individuals?

Probably, but they weren't making a loss on plans for individuals.

Was it simply economies of scale? More users, so they could make it up in volume?

That was probably a factor.

But one thing that really helped - at least, by my limited understanding of telecommunications - was what they did in the core networks.

Or what businesses would call the back-end.

The earliest mobile phones could make calls - barely.

Then engineers tweaked the signals to carry more data, which let them provide text messages and limited data. Enough for, say, basic news and weather apps.

But then the mobile internet started becoming a thing, so they had to build two networks - one for calls and texts, the other for their laughably rudimentary internet. Plus they had to get these two networks to talk to each other.

It was, I'm sure, a real hassle.

So when the next generation of technology came around, they integrated it all into one network. Calls, texts, data - all going through the same system.

The end user enjoyed faster, more reliable and better integrated services.

The telco enjoyed having one system to maintain, not two.

This, I would guess, helped them keep the price down while revolutionising what they offered.

Which brings me to your call-to-action:

There are places in your life and in your mind that could use a little of this.

Simplifying a process to create a more sophisticated output.

Consolidation, integration and streamlining, to remove the friction points in your thinking and actions. Some of it might involve your external circumstances - say, outsourcing your chores to free up your time.

And some of it will come from thinking hard about your own thinking.

This is your challenge: where in life can you simplify to multiply your results?

So that's one way to enhance your life.

But if self-improvement really interests you, what would you do with more techniques than you can use?

Like, say, 60 of them?

Get your hands on Three-Score Navike - the comprehensive and easy way to grow and evolve - right here:

https://guided-thought.com/navike/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10299517